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| Wow, so it's been forever...... since I've even been on Xanga! I think the last time was when my friend died, March of 2007, wow can't believe it's been that long. Anyways!!! I don't know who all reads these anymore but I'm going to write anyways becuase it's 12:36 am and I can't sleep, even though I'm very tired!!! Lets see what's been going on in my life shall we? Family- Family is doing great!! :o) compared from last year things are actually going really good! Praise God!! Christmas was the best Christmas I've had in a long long time. Jesus's birthday of course! How old is He? lol. My family was all there [who could be there] and no one faught!! WOW that's a big change in my family!! My sister lost her rights to my nephews and my grandparents are in the process of getting them!! [adopted] Which is a very good thing!! I am not sure where my sister is right now but I know our family isn't going threw heck like we did last year, all we can do is pray. My nephews are getting SO big, Damian will be 2 on the 28th of Feb! WOW so big :o) Raymond turns 5 [i think] jk in May!! Life is going by soooo fast!! Friends- I don't really have anyfriends anymore. I talk to ALOT of people on myspace that I've hung out with and yeah I talk to them and we are "friends" but really I don't have any actual friends. My friend Sarah is married and we haven't hung out in a long long time or had depth talks in a long time which breaks my heart. I miss her alot. Kate and I are not friends anymore. I guess it wasn't in God's plan. I have alot of friends at work though [explane later] Work- [hehe] I work at Walmart! It's an Okay job, I use my muscles and meet alot of poele and see different stuff in everyone. I have a couple good friends that work their, bless there soul, a couple people that really stick out to me is one janator [spelling] there named Manie, he is kinda hispac and he's probably around 50 or so. he is the nicest person I've met at Walmart he is the grandpa I wish I had!! I love him! Also, there is Don in produce he's oh what? almost 50 or so. He is truely God loving and he knows alot I like him alot!!! There are a couple others there that shown friendship but I'll tell you later :o) School- I wasted my time and money in school not knowning what I wanted to do. I am not in it now because of the family stress. now that is over, I can go back. Right now I am saving for a car which will be this summer to get hopefull, then I'll save the money to start back up in college for probation officer :o) I'll get my money back too from the state if I show them I really want to be there :o) yay! Relationships- I am curently engaged. And very confused. Dustin and I have been friends since 10th grade, we are so alike but yet so very different, at frist things were really great we had same faith and everytrhing but when we are together God is out of site and out of mind. I hate myself for that. I am now back into where I was before and I think it's so wrong, I don't want to question my realtionship with him but it's in God's hands, is all I want to say. And the best for last- GOD- I am doing good with him. I haven't been to church on Sundays for a while :o( I miss it! Because I work on Sundays darn it! Heavenfest 2008 is coming up soon in Colordao! I will probably go to that!!! It's soo fun! I've been talking with God more and more and more and trusting him more. I dont' know what else to really say, just that all I do pretty much is work, sleep and sometimes eat, sometimes I'll eat all day and sometimes I don't even eat for 2 days. Right now I'm taking my life one day at a time hopeing things will fall into place, whos in my life and who isn't is where I stand in wonder :o) | | |
| My friend Cody Allen Petersen died age 19 on the 3rd of March in a car accident! My friends Cody N. and Chris B. were with him and they rolled and Cody P. got threw out and died. They wern't wearing seatbelts and I think alcohol was involed. Cody was a good friend of mine in High school..as I moved to Grand Island we didn't keep that close of touch. I really miss him alot. It made me realize that yeah we are young and we do have time to find our life and to live our life one day at a time and we are just kids we have our whole life...well...Cody was my age..and his life was gone in one second...You cant take life for granted anymore....you jsut got to let the pieces fall where they may... God took Cody because he was in and out of his life with drugs and bad stuff and God saved him from a life of hell. @ the funural he was bursed but still my Cody..it hurt..I tried to be angry...it didnt work....I seen millions of my old friends and it just killed...I couldn't believe that the other 2 guys (thank God) didn't get hurt ONE BIT but Cody was DEAD!?!?! how the hell does that happen!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? I told Cody.."wake up, please come back" and I SWEAR! HE SHOOK HIS HEAD NO...." he was hapopy to be out of this world, to be free with Jesus:) I miss him alot, but I know he is up there at home and ill see him again someday....... rest in peace my lovely friend, ill miss you!! *IF i die before i wake, at least in heaven i can skate, heaven is a halfpipe!" | | |
| I'm totally going to fail out of college, there isn't anyway to pass, I'm on probation with the school, have to get B's right...well I haven't been there in like 2 1/2 weeks!!! I have mad homework, and stress around me. I have no spunk to go back to class!!!! Human Serives piss me off because of my sisters case, That's why I don't go there...computers makes me mad because I don't know, and math is like dead and writing just sucks! Seriously, my only other shot is Job Core in 2 years with my cousin in Utah...this year is a total waste of money and time!! I know I need to go to school just not now, wait till everything is settle!!! My sister is still in trouble, she won't change, we got in a fight a while back when she stayed again. My littlest nephew Damian turnes 1 on the 28th, went to wal-mart and took pictures in his outfit I baught:)!! Crusades is going okay, I didn't go last time and I'm not going this time I'm a little sick..little okay big time sick, I have a bad cough now, I am getting over it though I died my hair black underneith a few weeks ago Pretty much I'm really angry now and I'm just so lost in what I'm supposed to go, God is helping me but right now in myh life I feel that I'm bored and There is no point to do anything. The love of my life is still out there, dunno if I met him, dunno if I will, dunno if he's in my life now but I just know that he will change me or has changed me.....I hope to meet you or see you again someday my love:) In your faith alone:) Jessica | | |
| Hey people, it's 2007! WOW I can not believe that!! Well I guess I can because it is! Anywho so what's new with me.....hum....who cares right? This is like writing to myself!! No one else reads these, jeeze, xanga is kinda stupid don't you think? I must be stupid for writing on here also, GR were all dumb!!! Back to the subject...ME lol jk ok anyways!! Let's see what went on in 2006 shall we? January- 2ed semester of high school things were getting hetic tryin to figure out where I was going to college Feburary- Got some flowers from a friend lol thanks Code but no I can't be your valentine, also had a great gift on the 28th! A new nephew!! Damian!! I love you! March- Nothing great happend but it was my moms 40th birthday!! LOL love you! April- nothing special just had school May- Had my nephews 3rd birthday! Great fun!!! Babysat them and hand some more fun! Went to some friends Graduation parties, had my own on the 29th, had a party in Columbus with some friends and made a bad mistake June- Stayed with the mistake and grew distante from Christ, moved to Grand Island July- Got my eye brow pierced and made a lot of new friends, had a thing with one and kinda grew a little more, I think the stained concert was there August- 1st semseter of college started it was alright made some new friends Sept- went on a camping trip with campus crusades dont' remember if it was sept or aug but got a new boyufriend justin October- Had my 19th birthday, and got a tattoo November- more stress with my sisters things (stripper/ prostute) December- school was over and hung with friends more stress, an old ex boyfriend/first love came backinto my life New years, my mom and sister got in a fight hugn out with my ex boyfriend for a while, realized that i kno what i want in life and right now is to seek god and finish school and find out more who i am!! This semsteer I'm ready to fulfil my life and to do great in crusades and spread the word...but i got to go to the school love you all who read thiese..later | | |
| Hey everyone! Or, to whom reads these, aka Josh and Bill, well I don't know if Bill looks @ this anymore lol so anyways! College- The dude from the money place called and said I have to maintain a "B" for next semester, which means.......I can come back to school! Yippie? I'm scared because I will be helping with Campus Crusades...I don't think I can do it. I mean, I know what I know! And I am not afraid to speak the TRUTH but there are a lot more people in there that know excattlly what there talking about and would make a better person! Vacation- So the break is awesome, spending time with my mom more now that I'm not busy! I see my LOVELY AWESOME NEAT LOVING FUN CAREING nephews!! My sisters case is still on the ramp, by the first week of Jan it will say if my nephews go to there daddy (and his girlfriend!) or out for adopton. (my grandparents are getting older so they won't go to them and if we can't get them total starngers will) If I won't ever get to see them, I don't know what I'll do!!!! I don't think I'm going to Kansas now because of the snow that's coming! AHH Nutz I love going down there, because they are so fancy and stuff that it's great food, and a good family! YAY K-STATE!!!!! I am spending time with some friends that I haven't seen for a while, having a awesome time with a special person. Waiting to start college back up again!! Life- I am confused a little on things I want. I'm finding myself more and more each day. I like someone [s] but I don't know if it's right. What I feel in my heart and in my head are 2 different things. Even though it may feel like totally 100% right could be totally 100% wrong. Somethings just feel so perfect but yet another way would be even better! I just hope God guides me into the way he wants me to, I listen sometimes I'm just not hearing clearly and I take the path that says NO and when I get down it, I fall and say Thank you because now I've realized what you were saying. Anyways, I'm bored so I'm going to go!! >>Redneck word of the day<< (Widyadidya) "You didn't bring your truck widyadidya?" *Widyadidya=With you did you* | | |
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